Joy to the Dog: Holiday Stress Tips

I really like the holiday season. I get to hear Christmas carols (which is nice break from my human’s penchant for rock ‘n roll), the cold weather suits my robust nature, and adventure lies inside every brightly wrapped box. Your human will probably act a little strange during this holiday period.  Some become kind of hyperactive, like terriers on crack. Others become sad and may want to hug you more.  Since we canines are very sensitive to our humans’ moods and vibrations, it’s important for us to take the necessary steps to keep ourselves as stress free as possible. Luckily, I have some essential holiday stress tips to help all my fellow canines be of even better cheer at the end of the year:

• Tree ornaments are not food, nor are they flotation devices for water bowls, nor are they sparkly tennis balls.
• Christmas trees are not indoor hydrants or convenient indoor urine depositories, no matter what the cats say.

• Humans don’t like it if you pull a roll of wrapping paper off the table and run through the house knocking it against tables, chairs, and doorways.  They do not think it’s funny when you inevitably bash the cat in the head with it, although fellow members of your pack will think you are awesome.
• Help remove one clean sock from the dryer, and use it to play tug o’ war with Thunderbear while your human is on the phone.
• Find a brand new shoe in the human’s closet, hide it under the couch and then tell Buckaroo to find it.  Bark at the human to tell her Buckaroo has her shoe.
• Leave the dog beds to the cats, and curl up in the human’s favorite leather chair, especially if you’re still wet from snow, rain, or pond swimming and have escaped the dreaded towel by dashing through the human’s legs and into the sacred Living Room.
• Pretend to have a sudden onset of deafness when the human asks you to do something.  As we dogs know, this is canine comedy at its best — as good as Charlie Chaplin.
• Give your human the soulful-eyes look that says I love you, I adore you, you are my universe…chances are you’ll get an unexpected treat, and maybe an extra serving of Buckaroo’s Stew.

That’s what I have for now. If you’ve got more holiday stress tips for the dog living with humans at this touchy time of year, I’d love to hear them.

Kemosabe is a three year old Australian shepherd who, when he’s not on the road with Tigger, likes to hang out at BioStar — taste-testing products and herding the FedEx delivery guys.