Life with a New Puppy

Humans get so excited about bringing a new puppy home, but not me.  I have successfully survived the puppyhood of Thunderbear and Buckaroo. Now I have to put up with yet another of these guys: Crockett.

While my human giggles and coos over the flopping goofy ball of fur she just brought into our lives, I have a talk with IT, explaining the rules, such as: I AM IN CHARGE, and we do our business OUTSIDE.

Keeping the puppy in check

To make my point clear, I took the puppy’s toy away (because I can) and shockingly that little heathen tried to take it back!  I put him on the floor and stood over him in what you humans would call a one-second-smack-down. I have now earned the nickname: The Hall Monitor.

Okay, so he is a game little punk. Not instinctively respectful to me as Thunderbear and Buckaroo were. Oh, no, this jerkweed thinks he is an Alpha. There is only one Alpha in this tribe, and it is ME.

The little punk

Overnight, the puppy has become a crocodile: It wants to put it’s teeth into everything including: unsuspecting human flesh, wooden chair legs, and human toes; those little teeth grab Buckaroo’s mane, pull laundry towels out of the human’s hands, rip open a box of toothpaste (the little scoundrel stands on his hind legs at the bathroom sink and helps himself to various items including chapstick, a toothbrush, and a box of Kleenex).   Thank goodness we Australian Shepherds don’t have tails or he would be biting and chewing on them for sure. He couldn’t be less interested in the bushel of new toys my human procured for him or even the new Kong toy he got.  But if Buckaroo has a toy in his mouth, then the canine crocodile decides he wants that toy.

I observe all this with mild disdain; I was after all the Perfect Puppy (maybe the World’s Most Perfect Puppy).

Here are my tips for fellow canines dealing with a new puppy:

1. Don’t nag the puppy like humans do. A good growl is worth 1,000 words.
2. Roll the puppy: choose wet grass, or even better, some mud, and roll the puppy like a bowling ball.  This will teach it who is Boss. The puppy won’t mind and you will have lots of fun doing it.
3. Get the puppy in trouble: this is best accomplished with the help of the cat or another canine. Look totally innocent when the human finds the kitchen garbage spread out on the floor and the puppy chewing on the pizza box.

Until the puppy becomes a dog, I think I’ll just put him on “Ignore” and keep him off my human’s bed.  And remind him that the best seat in the house belongs to me.