Stealing BioStar: Kemosabe Confesses

by Kemosabe

Well, she caught me in the act. I had cleverly removed the lid from the Optimum Senior JS bucket because my human hadn’t sealed it properly.  Luckily, I didn’t get in much more trouble than her trademark “Uh-oh.”

When my human first started noticing the lid off the bucket she thought it was mice, and went to Peter and told him she thought maybe the cats were getting too old to hunt.  Thunderbear looked at me and whispered, “a big mouse named Kemosabe.”

I love to grab an Optimum snack in the barn.  It’s a very green powder with kale and blue-green algae which I think means it is healthy for me.   A couple of good licks of the powder and I’m ready to go.  Sometimes I sneak back to the barn before she does night turnout, and grab another lick…or two.

Of course I do get BioStar Optimum K9 cubes every day but there is something more fun about slipping the lid off a big tub of Optimum for the horses and eating as much as I want.

Tum-Ease is another favorite of mine.  Thunderbear can stand up on his hind legs and pull the bag off the shelf.  Of course if the bag is closed we just walk away, but sometimes our human has not closed the bag, and then we steal a few bars for a healthy snack.  I don’t understand why the horses get these tasty bars with papaya and cabbage, and the micro-crystalized aloe that coats and soothes the GI tract, and we don’t get our own canine Tum-Ease.  Maybe I need to have a chat with the boss.

Buckaroo loves Furnace—he sticks his whole head in the bag.  But then again, Buckaroo has never found a food he didn’t like.  Furnace has a lot of ginger in it to help with circulation.  I like the pumpkin seeds, and sesame seeds and nutritional yeast in it, but ginger…no, not my kind of food.

Crockett is not as sneaky as I am.  When our human is filling water buckets, he just saunters over to the feed buckets filled with soaked food, and dines on an assortment of foods and supplements.  Once he had too many mouthfuls of Thera Calm EQ for the horses, and an hour later he was sacked out under a boxwood bush…at 8 am in the morning.   Normally Crockett is all about his morning chores: check the chickens, go on perimeter patrol with Thunderbear, check on the humans, report to me any recent scent tracings of fox, skunk, raccoon, or deer.  Not that day.  Now he has learned to sniff each bucket before deciding which one he will dine from.  If there is Thera Calm EQ in a bucket, he won’t touch it.

However, he loves Thera Calm K9, as we all do.  We get it during hunting season, as none of us like the sound of gunfire.

I’ll probably get into trouble for saying this, but stealing BioStar supplements is our duty as intelligent, opportunistic, health-minded canines.  So don’t freak out when your golden retriever breaks open the BioStar box left on your porch by FedEx. Don’t freak out when your dog steals Optimum, or Tum Ease, or Furnace.  Instead recognize what an incredibly intelligent and health-conscious dog you have!

-Kemosabe